Hey Fabbies! Okay so let’s just get right to it. The other day, I was bending down tying Zé’s shoe (in the process of teaching her, but that’s a whole ‘nother story), so my chest was hovering over her. I was wearing a v-neck shirt, so the little cleavage that I have was pressed against my knees, making me look like a buxom, busty goddess! (Okay maybe not. Let’s just pretend that’s how I looked.)  Zé points to my chest and says “Mom, those are your boobs. I want boobs!” Somebody, please pour me a drink.

When she said that, I immediately (nervously) giggled, and said: “sweetie you don’t need boobs right now. Your body is still growing, and you will eventually get breasts, that’s the official name for them Zé, but that time will come when you’re much older! Maybe like when you’re a teenager…” I was talking so fast! I was just caught off guard! Lol!  I mean, I can DISTINCTLY remember when I myself wanted boobs. And I wasn’t five. I was in the 3rd grade. So like, eight years old. At the time, my very best friend in the whole world was named Krystle Harris. (Hey girl if you’re reading this! lol) Krystle was also 8, but had the body of a 13-year-old. Okay, no she didn’t. She had the boobs of a 13 year old though. Or at least that’s what it seemed like to me at the time. I would go to Krystle’s house in the summertime, and we would swim in her apartment’s pool, wearing our swimsuits. I would look down at my chest like, “helloooooo! where the hell are my breasts?! Krystle’s got huge ones!” (Mind you, her chest was perfectly proportioned to her body, and she was probably going through puberty normally or early, hell I don’t know. All I know is I didn’t go through puberty until like age 21 lmao, but I digress. )

I remember that being the first time that I really took a look at my own chest and realized that I didn’t exactly have “boobs”. I was so perplexed by this! Because now, I’m paying attention. I enter fourth grade, and now I’m peeking around trying to see who else had boobs! (Luckily for me, not many others did either. Krystle was just a unicorn.) And then, months later, my older sister Tamika was afforded the wonderful opportunity of getting her first training bra! Ohhhhh the agony! I literally cried to my mom:

“I want a training bra too Mom!” My mom’s response: “Raven, you are flatter than that sidewalk outside. Stop.”

Just kidding. My mom was more gentle: “Raven, now is not the time for you to have a training bra yet. Your time will come soon.””Soon” turned out to be when I was entering high school. I kid I kid. (And anyway, I was a young basketball player, so I wore little sports bras for the longest time before I got a real “bra”, which now I can’t even remember when that was! But I can tell you when my sister got hers. Isn’t that a shame? lol!)

Anyway, fast forward to present day. I’m grown now with many bras that I never even wear, and have a five year old that thinks she needs some boobs. The irony! Considering how dramatic and passionate I was about my own boobs growing up, I should NOT be surprised that my offspring would be just as interested. Except…she’s five. The second time she said “I want boobs”, Chris happened to be walking by and I didn’t know. He later told me: “I heard what Zé said today. I just had to pretend I didn’t hear that and keep walking.” Bahahahaha! Poor daddies!

So when Zé told me she wanted boobs again, I was prepared this time: “These (I pointed to my “boobs”) actually used to feed you and your brother when you guys were babies!” Zé looks at me quizzically, and I continue to tell her the purpose of even having “boobs”, and even go so far as to show her old photos of me breastfeeding her and Vito. She then says “ohhhh”, then runs along and continues playing. (She doesn’t have to know that now Daddy has fun with them too, because that’s none of her business.)

Motherhood is a trip. Having kids definitely keeps you on your toes. Because before Zé made that statement, I was just sure that a subject like breasts, and her wanting some, would not be a thing until much later. Ohhh but no. Her saying that also took me down memory lane of my own development as I mentioned earlier, which had me dying of laughter at my own ridiculousness in my youth. But I will care to admit, that a sista wouldn’t mind perkier boobs because I mean, let’s face it: They ain’t the same as before kids lol! But! That’s nothing a good push-up bra can’t fix. And I mean, during my breastfeeding days, my boobs did swell to quite plumpalicious:

But since I love to jog, they were quite the hindrance lol. Just like a woman! Never satisfied! In all seriousness though, Zé making that statement just awakened me to the fact that my daughter is about to start having some serious questions, and I need to be prepared to answer them. And also, that my present-day boobs must be quite fabulous, because duh! My daughter wants some just like mine! ;p